Jackie
Vietnam & China
my name is Jackie Ho
[ja-kee Ho]
My divine roots are from Saigon, Vietnam.
I identify as Vietnamese-Chinese-American.
I was born and raised in San Diego, California.
I have been living in Los Angeles, California since 2008.
ROOTS
My parents are from Saigon, Vietnam. They are both children of war refugees who immigrated to San Diego, California in the late 1970s after the Vietnam War. They met at a party through mutual friends who were fellow Vietnamese war refugees.
My mom is Vietnamese. My dad is Chinese & Vietnamese. It is common for Chinese & Vietnamese cultures to intermix since their borders are so close. I feel more connected to my Vietnamese side, but I would like to learn more about my Chinese heritage - I feel like that side of me is totally ignored.
have you visited the land?
I visited Vietnam for the first time in 2017. It felt like I never left, but at the same time, it felt new. I felt like I belonged, but I knew I was different because I’m American. The Vietnamese-American experience is so different from the Vietnamese experience of those who live there.
I have not visited China. I would like to trace back to where my family came from and visit those regions.
do you speak the language?
I speak Vietnamese (southern dialect) conversationally, but not very well. I would like to get back in touch with it. I believe that without language, there is no chance of further connection.
I don’t speak Mandarin, but I definitely would like to learn it.
we shot in Griffith Park — why does that setting feel like home for you?
There were multiple areas of this park that reminded me of Vietnam as a whole from north to central to the south: the tall, shooting trees; lush green foliage; winding dirt pathways; beds of dried, dusty leaves. They each represented a phase of growth, life, death, and rebirth.
Since tapping into my true self with martial arts, I’ve been shedding old layers and embracing new ones. The more I practice, the closer I get to myself.
We shot this right after the LA fires, so the energy of rebirth was all around us.
what do you love most about la?
I love that LA is the land of creatives and self-made entrepreneurs. I have never seen so many creators in one place; always doing something -- connecting and collaborating. They take their strengths/weaknesses and transmute them into opportunities.
what don’t you love about la?
I don’t love how LA is so spread out; it feels as if it was built for disconnection. It’s easy to stay in your cocoon and detach. It’s easy to be complacent.
Everyone can also complain about the traffic, rightfully so, as it often brings out the worst in people.
how has your experience in la affected your worldview?
LA has forced me to figure myself out, which I am grateful for. Through the superficial experiences of modeling and type-casting, I got deeper with myself in order to truly embody & share a more substantial story told in the industry; an in-depth story and representation of my culture and myself. It’s all based on war – the history of war and the war within myself.
what are examples of intergenerational resilience in your culture?
Martial arts is the best culmination of us reclaiming our power, confidence, and sovereignty.
My dad practiced the ancient Chinese martial arts of Tai Chi until he was my age. I am grateful to be learning more about his experience and connection to the practice as I develop my own martial arts practices.
My maternal grandfather was a self-taught boxer and fighter. He fought in the Vietnam War as a boat captain in the Navy. After the fall of Saigon, he was captured by the Communist victors and placed in a “re-education camp” so sadly, I never got a chance to meet him and learn more.
Further in my lineage, I discovered that I literally come from warrior queens – the Trung sisters, daughters of diplomats in Lac Viet (a province in North Vietnam).
In the 14th century, the Han Dynasty of China was trying to occupy Vietnam, so the Trung sisters led and rallied an army of 80,000 to fight against them, achieving temporary peace in the region. Eventually, the Han Dynasty orchestrated a coup and overtook the government; legend has it that the Trung sisters either died fighting in battle glory or jumped off a cliff together after they were cornered.
In many ways, I have the blood of freedom fighters/warriors in my veins, and life has shown me that I can’t deny who I am. I know that I am meant to fight for myself, for others, and a larger destiny at play.
what are examples of intergenerational trauma in your culture?
Distracting ourselves from the real pain of where we are (internally/emotionally) after being physically transplanted in a new country. There are conflicting feelings and pressure around trying to rebuild somewhere new, while navigating our displacement and (dis)connection from our motherland and culture. I’ve seen it manifest in my community through a prevalent gambling & addiction problem that isn’t talked about or supported enough.
how do you break the cycle?
By healing my connection to my body and aligning it with my mind and spirit through my dedication to martial arts.
My life is based on physicality and intuition. With that awareness of my body, comes the duality of balancing my masculine and feminine energies. My masculine energy empowers me to fight, be bold, and take action. My feminine energy allows me to be soft, vulnerable, and hold space for others. In many ways, I’m healing my wounded feminine through my masculine. I’m working hard to take action by embodying love - love for myself, my people, my family & friends, and the world.
I hope to serve as an example for anyone who wants to break the cycle by empowering them to learn about who they are and embody that wherever they are in the world, wholeheartedly.
how do you honor your roots / culture?
By continuing to learn more about my roots, getting in touch with my body in the same ways my ancestors did, and then sharing that with the world. I am passionate about representing my culture through my work in an authentic way.
My dream is to create a National Geographic series that documents my journey learning martial arts in their native lands -- diving deeper into the history, philosophy, and techniques of each of my practices.
places in the local community that feel like home:
UACTP in Filipinotown was where I felt that women were most respected for being badass and encouraged to train and fight harder for themselves
people in the online community you are inspired by
Michelle Yeoh inspires me because of what she represents as an artist and a woman, who found commercial success in America because of her work abroad at home.
