Flashbacks

Update - December 2015:

Going through pieces I've written in the past feels strange to me sometimes. I'm continuously growing, continuously transforming. Reading excerts from the "past me" as I transfer my old work on to this new blog feels foreign at times.  Mainly because last year, everything was new and I was extremely inspired. Everything I created, I did so enthusiastically. It was overwhelming. I miss it.

August 10, 2014

“You’re just a dreamer”
They tell me as if it’s a bad thing.
They tell me as if I don’t know.
“I’m a dreamer”
I tell them it’s a wonderful thing.
I want them to know.
It gets too real sometimes,
Unable to distinguish between my world and reality.
Let me dream.
Please dream with me,
I’m a dreamer, let me be"

“Has, you know how I f-ck around when I like something and say I might get it tatted? I might actually get a section of this tatted, like really considering it. You know what I loved most? The fact that you didn’t seem angry, it felt almost omnipotent. You’re not mad that they don’t know, you just wanna gift them with this knowledge to go not only outside the box but through it.  F-ck, it was so inviting. I loved it.”

Sometimes, I get the opposite of writer’s block. I have so much going through my mind I keep going to the next idea and the next and the next, planting seeds, coming back to water them. I was up in the late AMs working on material for my blog and everything was just insanely inspiring. I was reading something, then I clicked a music video, then I started editing this picture over and over, then I started thinking about a conversation from earlier in the day – so much flooded in my brain. I felt like I needed to sleep, it was so overwhelming. Like when you love someone so much it’s overwhelming.. and scary but you don’t want to stop it. You want more, so you have to make yourself break away for a second to stay on the ground. It makes you feel omnipotent and vulnerable at the same time. I layed down and started thinking about how I wish I could just show people the inside of my brain, I want people to see the beauty in what I see. Then, I started thinking about how some people think it’s silly to think that deeply. Sometimes I’m so happy when I’m in my own world and sometimes I think to myself ‘How does nobody else feel all this?’ I wanna be left alone but I also want to share it. So I wrote that. 

xo, Has